Take a moment early in the movie, when Voss is matched up in his first MMA fight against a man who IMDB lists as “Fighter at Factory.” The bell rings, and Voss, relying on his years of elite-level grappling experience, breaks out this trash: Voss may have some old trophies and memorabilia adorning his walls (with the above photo no doubt being taken from James’ high school wrestling days), but in the cage, Voss moves with the skill and volition of a quadriplegic on ice skates. Based on the grappling skills we see from him in the movie, however, I’m going to go ahead and call bullsh*t on that as hard as I possibly can. Voss is described as a “former Division 1 collegiate wrestler” throughout Here Comes the Boom. (I’ve never actually seen Zookeeper, but let’s be honest, that’s probably a scene in Zookeeper.) It would be like that time Pat Barry fought Stefan Struve, or that time James’ character from Zookeeper was forced to put down an silverback gorilla using only his farts.
10-ranked Alexander Volkov, not to mention at least 20 pounds to either of them. At 5’8 (assuming his character is the same height as Kevin James), Voss would give up 8 inches to current champ Stipe Miocic and almost a foot to No. That said, Voss’ physical stature certainly wouldn’t do him any favors.
Mark Hunt is nearing 45, for God’s sake, and he can still turn half the division into dust with one good punch. It wasn’t that long ago that 43-year-old Randy Couture captured the heavyweight title by beating down Tim Sylvia (sending “The Maine-iac” into a downward, cake-filled spiral from which he has yet to recover), and even today, four out of the UFC’s top 10 heavyweights are 35 years or older. BJ Penn was only 38 when he made his most recent comeback, and he looked like a poi-filled inflatable punch bag against Yair Rodriguez.īut the UFC’s heavyweight division has and always will be the division of old man strength. In almost any other division, Voss’ age would be enough to put the kibosh on his UFC dreams right from the get-go. It’s all very strange.īut the questionable logic of Voss’ plan aside, does he display the kind of skillset that would make him a viable threat in the UFC’s notoriously shaky heavyweight division? Let’s take a look at the numbers. Starring the incomparable Kevin James as biology teacher Scott Voss, Here Comes the Boom tells the story of an affable schmuck’s attempt to bed Salma Hayek *and* save his school’s music program with six months of sprawl training in the lowest-paying sport in modern existence (save maybe women’s basketball). The only place to begin, of course, is with the Mecca of modern MMA films (and the only one co-promoted by the UFC!): Here Comes the Boom, aka Paul Blart Presents: Mixed Martial Farts. Instead, I will be doing that thing that I just mentioned above. I will not be grading these movies, nor will I be offering a critique on superfluous things like plot, writing, and acting.
#HERE COMES TO BOOM FIGHTERS MOVIE#
Starting today, I am embarking on a mission to review every last movie with even a tangible connection to MMA, boxing, muay Thai, or even fighting in general. But while most critics have attempted to grade these crossover flicks like they’re the next Citizen Kane or something, there have been few (if any) who have analyzed them based purely on how accurately or inaccurately they portray combat sports from a technical perspective. It’s not really that surprising that MMA and the moviemaking industry have become bedfellows in recent years, what with the former’s boon in popularity and the latter’s need to capitalize on literally any trend or remotely popular thing for monetary gain.
0 kommentar(er)
